Squirrel! (no happy ending)

Last weekend, child number one came to me and said "I think there is something in the chimney."  Knowing that the damper didn't fit properly, and that there were leaves in the fireplace, I suggested to her that what she heard was simply the wind rustling the leaves in the fireplace.  We listened intently, but heard nothing, so dismissed the subject and went back to the business of the day.

Well, two days later, the cats started saying "I think there is something in the chimney."  Now of course they can't actually talk, but they most definitely said this.  I heard them loud and clear, when I found both of them sitting in the fireplace staring up at the not-quite-closed damper.  By this time, our little "friend" was getting a bit frantic, and even I could hear him rattling around in there.  What to do?

I have mixed feelings about squirrels.  They are cute and fun to watch.  My family raised one from a baby when I was a kid.  I used to enjoy visiting the Capitol and feeding the squirrels on the lawn.  BUT, they are destructive little animals!  You can't feed the birds unless you spend insane amounts of time and money trying to outsmart them.  If they decide that your attic is the best place to have their next litter, look out.  They'll eat their way in again and again, no matter what you do to keep them out.  Even so, I'm not the type to just let an animal die; that's almost the same as killing it yourself.  So the rescue operation was underway.

First, I looked online - lots of people saying that squirrels liked to nest in chimneys, and various suggestions on keeping them out (mainly involving getting a chimney cap - Hey! There's an idea!).  This squirrel definitely was not nesting.  Also found lots of people who already have squirrels in their chimneys and were looking for a way to get them out.  Nothing really helpful.  So, I called Animal Control.  I've got an animal that needs to be controlled, right?  NO!  He's in the chimney, which is not an occupied dwelling, so they can't help me.  OK, next step.  I called one of those critter removal services.  Can't cost more than about $50 to get this thing out of there, right?  Man with ladder drops rope down chimney, squirrel climbs out to safety.  NO!  Would you believe more than $200?  And that doesn't include the actual removal of the animal.  But it does include as many visits as necessary to get it out.  Now, I was trying to come up with a way to rescue the little guy, but that's going too far.

So now, I'm in the position of trying to open the damper and get out the pile of leaves and sticks that have fallen in there, and also remove the body of our expired visitor.  At least I think he's expired . . . it's been quiet for a couple of days now, and the cats are no longer interested in the fireplace.